Ice cream and clean eating

They don't mix. That's what the coaches tell you. But the coaches aren't perimenopausal, overly emotional women who at any given moment may cry, thinking of a moment in their last 48.9 years of life that had no effect on them before. Now, however, twenty or thirty years later, said moment can make a person cry. And want some ice cream. Coffee ice cream. Or better yet, coffee frozen yogurt. With crushed Heath bars. And maybe some hot fudge. Is there any in my house, or even in my town? No. There is not. Clean eating people will tell you that frozen bananas blended with cocoa and almond milk taste like a Wendy's frosty. These people are liars. Dirty liars. It does not, and it's even farther from the true product when mixed with plain Greek yogurt. Horrid. I am doing my best to eat as cleanly as possible, to follow the rules of consuming food for nutritional purposes and in their whole, natural form as much as possible and to avoid sweeteners in any form and bread in any form as much as possible. Tonight, I just can't stomach one more lettuce leaf, one more mouthful of quinoa or raw cashews or Swiss chard or raw vegetables. I can't. Tonight, I want ice cream flavored like coffee or salted caramel or sweet corn with black raspberries and whipped cream on top with roasted, salted nuts.