Today I am writing to beg you to help the young girls of today. The 20somethings. This is a topic we should all be concerned about. Our young ladies of today are losing a battle they don't even know they are in. These beautiful women have lost their way. Or maybe they haven't ever found it. Or perhaps we are not teaching them what they need to know. Or, maybe, they see us not living our lives the way God intended us to and they are actually learning from us. Whatever the case, we need to help them find themselves. I'm going to share a story of my own. It is factual. It happened to me. The worst absolute HELL I have ever lived, is the BEST thing that ever happened to me.
When I was young, in my early 20s I married a very sweet man. Unfortunately, I married him for the wrong reasons. About 4 years in, I realized I had made a terrible mistake. I was young. I wanted to play. It broke my heart, and I say this honestly - it was HARD to do - but I left him. A few years later, I met the Devil himself. He was good - he told me what I wanted to hear. He was "fun". I married him, even though I knew he had already cheated. For ten years, T E N, he cheated, lied, put me down, was mentally and a few times even physically abusive, and was the absolute worst choice I had ever made. One day, I met my friend Janet. Janet was the most amazing, beautiful person I have ever known. For a few months, Janet watched, listened to me cry, saw what he was doing, and took it all in. Then she started asking me what I was doing. It took over a year but finally I was done. I was starting to see the truth. I decided it was time. I had to go. (We had a 5 year old son at the time.) But how. How was I going to make it without him. How was I going to survive. And why. Why wasn't I good enough. Why didn't he love me enough to want to be good to me. (These were real thoughts my friends.) I couldn't leave because I hadn't changed him. One afternoon, I was laying on my couch sobbing, literally unable to pack my things. Unable to move. Janet came over and gave me THE GIFT. It changed my life. It was my bible. She said it would change me. She said it was going to get me through. She told me I was beautiful. That I deserved better. And more. She told me that Jesus loved me, and that she loved me. And she helped me pack my bags . She helped me decorate my apartment. She took care of my son when I was weak, and she kept on talking the talk. Showing me, through her love, that Jesus did not want me to be with that man. Telling me that He would bring the right one into my life when I was ready.
It was a long road. I went back to him. More than once. Then it happened. I hit the bottom. Rock. Bottom. The weakest I have ever been. Laying on the sidewalk, in the rain, in the cold, sobbing and begging him. Asking him why he was doing this to me AGAIN. Then I heard it. I. Heard. HIM. (I'm crying as I type this - it was that amazing, and real. I still cry.) I heard "GET UP. GET UP." And so began my next, and best, relationship. Me and Jesus. I started counseling with a woman who was my next gift. Every time I went to her and said "but he said" or "but he did", she would look in my face and say "SO WHAT". Ouch. But I started to learn - it didn't matter what he did. He only affected my life when I let him. He only upset me, when I let him. He only hurt me, when I gave him the power. I started telling myself, everyday, often multiple times a day, I AM GOOD. I DESERVE GOOD. I AM BEAUTIFUL. I DESERVE BEAUTIFUL. GOD ONLY WANTS GOOD FOR ME. And then, one day, I BELIEVED it all.
I surrounded myself with amazing, beautiful, strong, Godly women. Positive influences. Women who know - God is good all of the time. Women who sent me cards with Bible verses or positive inspiration. I started looking for the good things. Living the positive life. That is when I found love. I found Jesus' love. I found personal love - love of myself. And I found TRUE LOVE. I found my Jason. Actually, he was given to me. My gift from God.
Ladies (and gentlemen, if you're listening too), please. I beg of you. We have to start teaching our girls - love of self. Abusive relationships are NOT RIGHT. Drugs are NOT RIGHT. They are NOT where you are MEANT TO BE. You are beautiful women - you need to say it everyday. I AM GOOD AND I DESERVE GOOD. You will not die without him. YOU WILL THRIVE!!!!!! I promise you! YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM - you were not born with that power!!!! YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM (except that you are allowing this to be your life). FIND THE POSITIVE THAT WORKS FOR YOU. Find the love of Jesus! Or if you're not a believer, find WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL WHOLE. Something good for your soul.
GIRLS - LISTEN TO MY WORDS -
"G E T U P"
After posting, I realize there are young men in the same situations. It goes both ways. We all deserve GOOD. We all deserve TRUE AND HONEST LOVE. We were not put on this earth to suffer. Jesus suffered so that we could have good! So that we would know love!
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